It’s What’s New Wednesday time! It’s a chance for me to share what’s new in my non-writing and writing world. Check out the other memes I’ve created in order to get myself blogging regularly – Motley Monday, Workout Wednesday, Fucked up Friday, Music Monday, Workout Wednesday, Foodie Friday.
Today I’m beginning something new. Something new to help me achieve what I want in life and to learn new habits.
I’m one of those people who have gone through life doing things and going places without setting goals to achieve. My earlier philosophy on goal-setting revolved around tentative planning due to life changing all the time. Why would you set something in motion if there was the chance it would never reach its conclusion?
I wouldn’t be surprised if you thought my previous goal-setting philosophy was preposterous. I think so now, but earlier on my life was crazy, fucked up, and the value of setting goals wasn’t shown to me when I was impressionable.
My new issue comes with a sense of urgency. I want to do so much and I want to do those things RIGHT NOW and AT THE SAME TIME. Talk about impossible and being overzealous. It’s either one extreme or the other and my main goal now, yes a goal, is to find the place in-between tentative planning and being frenetic.
This came about while discussing my dreams and wants with my partner. I mentioned a few goals, like rock climbing, being efficient at jogging, becoming confident with cycling… and then it got out of hand. I think my partner thought I was finished listing my wants after the amount of time you’d expect someone to list them, but I kept going… and going… and going…
My partner suggested I set goals and a few at a time. I know the basic principle to goal setting, but putting it into practice is something else. I get very distracted by everything I come across and end up wanting to do. There’s so much stimuli giving me inspiration sometimes I’m amazed my brain hasn’t burnt out yet.
This is my new thing; setting goals. I began by writing out my goals in a notebook and filled four pages. I broke each goal down into steps and I have set some into motion. I thought, as a way to motivate myself and publicly shame myself if I failed, I would share my goals here. I’m not sure if I will be sharing all the goals here in future, but I will begin by posting what I want to achieve each month.
My Goals and Plans for November
Writing the first draft of Quiet Please – This is my story idea for NaNoWriMo and I would like to get the whole thing down, but just the bones of it will count for me too (I’ll be sharing the idea behind the story this Friday).
Overcoming Social Phobia and Anxiety – My goal to overcome my mental illnesses is an ongoing one. With NaNo inbound my plan is to participate in as many of the NaNo social events as I can. This includes trips into the city for the city write-ins, the trip itself lending to my recovery, and going to the write-in at Parramatta…, which I organised so I’m kind of already undertaking this goal. I have been going to social events already, but I want to put myself out of my comfort zone as much as I can stand before I crack.
Thirty Day Squat Challenge – I came across this idea thanks to Fit for 365‘s blog and have been attempting to do it since early October, but I haven’t been keeping up with it. I plan to do it during November and I will post about it when I have a chance.
Building-up Fitness – This is another ongoing goal, to help me become as fit as possible, but in November I would like to get into the habit of exercising before lunch each day. I won’t be going all out or anything, just jogging, strength training, and squats.
Anaemia Recovery – Last, but not least, I’m anaemic and I’m sick of it. I began on liquid iron before I was able to swallow tablets, but now I can so have switched to tablets. Knowing I had anaemia didn’t make me begin eating meat straight away. Meat is one of my kryptonite foods. I wanted to introduce it back into my diet slowly. I have now, but not consistently. I want to make a concerted effort to get my iron levels back up. My goal is to get into the habit of taking iron tablets daily and eating red meat three times a week.
That’s not it though! I have more news! I’M SO EXCITED! One of my wonderful cousins contacted me yesterday and invited me to see Nine Inch Nails with her! I saw NIN, with my cousin, in 2005. 2005 is the year I was overcome with ME/CFS. The NIN concert was my last time out in fact and I crashed hard with ME two days later…
Some people might be too scared to revisit the last real time they were healthy in case it spurs on another health crisis, but I don’t see it like that. I see the last NIN concert as a prologue to a story and the next NIN concert is going to be the epilogue.
I will never be able to finally close the book on having ME/CFS, it’s not something that goes away completely and stops affecting your life, but I finally feel like I am truly able to begin my life now. I’ll do that with Nine Inch Nails. It’s my freedom, my independence, my re-introduction into the world, and it’s on my terms.
Having ME has made me face up to so many different obstacles, emotional baggage, and helped me to see what is healthy and what isn’t. When I saw NIN in 2005 I was working in an unsettled work environment with a manager who pushed me around, I was in an unhappy relationship where I was not respected, the people I thought were my friends were anything but, and I was deep in denial. I had also done my back in (slipped disc, pulled muscle, and torn tendon) and couldn’t enjoy the concert properly. I had to stand with my back against the stand, avoid people touching me, and keep as still as possible. I honestly have no idea how I made it there on the train.
I still have my issues, but I am aware of them and I’m working on overcoming them. I know the difference between an abuser and true friendship, I am in a healthy and respectful relationship, I am not in a manipulative work environment and I will not let that happen again, and my back is fine now. By next year I hope to have built up my health to the point where ME is only a niggling worry, my Diabetes is under control, and I’ve reconditioned my cognitive functions and my physical state enough to re-enter the workforce.
Seeing NIN again, especially with my cousin, makes me feel as though I’m coming full circle and can finally move on.